Never forget that it could be all gone in a flash. Do more, help others, be grateful, and follow your heart. I am a new woman with new goals and challenges.
Food diary from a couple days ago:
So I haven’t been keeping track much but I can tell you this:
I can’t seem to get chocolate out of my diet.
I have been able to give up so much that I used to enjoy, crave, desire and drool for but chocolate has a hold on me a dozen times stronger than all the rest I have had to give up in search of a healthier, happier digestive system.
Today I taught 2 classes ( with help from my assistant cause I’m still getting over some light injuries), had a quick photo shoot in my living room for a friend, and then taught a private for almost 2 hours but I only had to demo a few moves.
I woke up around 8:45a, let the pup out, and then went back to lay in bed for a few cause I felt drained from the minute I got up (this is common for me before 11a). Got up and showered at 9:10a. Ate an orange and a rice cake with peanut butter.
Cleaned my car off and headed to teach by 9:40a.
Between classes I had an apple (with peel, I was peeling them for a while back, maybe I should try that again).
Got home around 1p and proceeded to eat some blanched almonds, a few raw cashews, a small handful of carob chips, a date or two, and more PB with 1/2 a rice cake. Oh and a bite of my special homemade energy bars derived from a friends recipe and my old one.
Then I made my smoothie which I should have made immediately but I can’t be on track all the time.
Smoothie of frozen strawberry, small chunk of banana, blueberries, fresh pineapple, bite of avocado, a dozen spinach leaves, 1/2 teaspoon fresh ginger, 1/2 cup coconut water, a Tbsp of rice protein powder, bit of shredded unsweetened coconut, and a tbsp or so org. flaxseed meal.
I keep drinking it with a straw and I know I need to go back to eating it slowly or with a spoon again. I eat way too fast for my system.
I think I shoveled a handful more nuts in before I left to go teach the private lesson too.
Went grocery shopping right after. On the way home around 7p I started to eat what I caved again in buying. My enjoy life chocolate chunks and some blanched raw almonds. I almost uncontrollably ate it too. Closing the bag and re opening it every few miles.
By the time I got home I was clearly not feeling like I could cook and eat a meal with all the chocolate and nuts in my gut.
I waited a few and then made a can of GF chicken noodle soup.
Edited images while I ate it. Then about an hour later ( or less) I was back at the chocolate and nuts in the freezer. I decided to just make a cup of my “cereal” with the chocolate and nuts over my plain rice puffs and more coconut/ flaxseed meal.
As of late I’ve only been having one cup before bed as my dessert.
But tonight I had two.
I don’t want to get back to having 3 though I know I ate way more than I wanted to of the chocolate and nuts already.
When I give it up, I just end up constantly looking for other food to replace it anyway. And it always leads to sweets. Homemade but not any better for me than the chocolate and nuts.
So I have successfully fallen off this horse. I no longer think for hours and hours at a time about my diet and digestion issues . Though I do still think about it often, it’s not quite hindering my life like it was back in Early 2013. I am creating a new blog. One for my life’s new goals, chats about my inner turbulence and accomplishments, travel experiences, continued searches for my medical ailments (or hypochondria if it’s truly just normal aches and pains and I’m a big baby. Ha!), and so much more!
I always loved to sing. Alone, with friends, in the car, in the shower, and when I could, in public. But I never felt I had amazing talent. Just really really enjoyed it.
I’ve tried my hand in a few bands but nothing really stuck and felt right. I’m not a writer. Just a girl who loves to sing.
When I finally was old enough to pass for being 21, I started doing Karaoke at a local bar. I would practice at home for hours on the songs I wanted to try, then go out to my car or in the bathroom minutes before my turn to make sure I was “warmed up”. I’d grab the mic as confidently as I could but my hands would shake, sometimes I’d drop the mic. But I’d get through it (most the time) and then on to picking the next song. I eventually had my “crowd favorites” that my friends would request (White Rabbit, Hit me with your best shot, Bad Fortune (PJ Harvey was my favorite female singer), Cornflake Girl (Tori, another HUGE idol of mine as a teen), I’m Only Happy When it Rains, and even Pinball Wizard. My best was “Turn Back Time” by Cher. It still is.
When I got to be 22-23, I used to do these long running contests held by the local major Karaoke company in the area that did about 20 or so bars in metro detroit. I would get to the Regional and then hit the wall. I just wasn’t good enough or an intense enough performer (you got judged on your skills other than singing and I danced and stood on chairs and walked through the audience, but it wasn’t enough). People wore wigs and costumes to match the star they were impersonating. That was it, it wasn’t about being yourself and putting your voice into it. It was about how much could you copy the singer you were imitating. I also loved trying to imitate sounds and expressions all singers let out in their performances but I have my own voice hidden in there, trying to get out. I never found my true voice, I still struggle to find what it might be just not as hard as I used to in my band days.
When I worked on a cruise as a model/photographer a few years back, I entered their talent show. Just for fun.
I found a very similar replica of Cher’s outfit from the Turn Back Time video. Black thong leotard looking thing, I wore it with fishnets and a rhinestone belt. I planned this out, just like my days of karaoke rehearsal, but this time, it was on side of a ship where the engines rurrrrrred loud so only I could hear me.
I got on that stage, recruited two male friends to hoist me on their shoulders and carry me out onto the stage like the Diva I was impersonating. I felt amazing. I was actually in front of 100’s, maybe 1000 people (mostly older folks but I didn’t care). This was there BIG stage, the one all the musicals and aerial acts happened on. There were Professional Lighting set ups, a sound system to die for, a sound man who knew how to make it sound like a real concert event, an audience to clap along cause many of them knew the song. I had never felt so nervous and thrilled all at once. I busted it out to my best with my ass shaking in clear view (thank you thong leotard) as I did my nervous shuffle to the beat, and made sure to include my big signature leg kick but was so happy I got to experience that moment. it was cheesy and would have been a nightmare for so many others, but I reveled in it as more than I ever expected to do with my karaoke “career”. 🙂
Fast forward a few years and now I keep my voice out of my performances. I took my karaoke act to the top tier of what I thought it could be (in front of lots of people, in costume, and with audience participation) and now I save it for the rare occasion that I actually get out to a bar with friends who support my love for the stage.
I think I do prefer Aerial to singing when it comes to live acts, but I always know that if performing Aerial becomes physically impossible for me, I can start training my vocal cords again and hopefully sing for some Circus performers flying high around me. 🙂
Much love and keep rocking it out Gale.
Today marked day 1 of the physical part of my newest pet project.
My goal is to document and collect data, video and photos that will help us better understand the why and how of aerial art explorations. At least in my part of the country for now. Hopefully in the future I can make it more national then global and find similarities and differences between:
Who is most likely to be drawn to this art?
Why do those not brought up in the circus life develop a long term life changing link to it?
What are the components of creative control and are most even trying to make a style or just finding it once they get beyond a mimicking stage with their trainer?
How does different training programs and backgrounds effect your outlook, success, and drive in aerial arts?
And so so much more.
For me, I want to understand aerial movement better to help with the lack of available knowledge for instructors and also because I desire to use that knowledge to help my students now and in the future. There is also the personal joy I get from making connections through aerial and having those “Ah-ha” moments personally as well. Above all, this study gets me really excited and driven to delve even deeper into something I love to learn, teach, and explore personally for more reasons that I can even express.
Here’s to hoping its a fun and fruitful learning process!
Couldn’t even tell you how long it’s been since I’ve updated.
I have never been so busy in my life. This late-summer to fall transition has garnered more shows in the last month then we had in the first half of the year.
And most of them required brand-new routines so it’s like learning three routines all at the same time, But on completely different apparatuses.
My eating habits have gone from going to try to be as healthy as I possibly can and treat myself every once in a while To I have no time to make anything but I can’t eat anything that’ll make me feel like crap. So I’ve been living off of grilled chicken a few times a week, a smoothie pretty much daily, The occasional gluten-free waffles that I make myself, Every day I eat mini chocolate chips that are gluten soy and dairy free With blanched almonds. I tried to do as much salad With rice As I could but I got really sick of it.
I recently found a gluten-free chicken noodle soup that I like. Not as natural as I wish it was but it’s okay.
And I’m so overtrained that I can barely get out of bed each morning. I don’t know why I agreed to teach on Sunday mornings with this kind of schedule coming up. I should’ve waited until the dead of winter.
But I’m somehow getting by, hoping that I just don’t get injured and make it through all these big shows.
The amount of photo orders I’ve been getting is astronomical. And more shoots are still booking. But this is always been my busy time of year for that. It’s just hard to keep up with it all on top of all the shows next your classes that I’m teaching.
Hopefully everything goes well and I can keep my deadlines met.
My fingers are crossed. Eyes feel like they’re crossed too.
Although I don’t post on here much anymore life is been pretty amazing. It just goes to show that when I’m actually truly enjoying things In life, I don’t feel the need to express myself in words as much As I do when I’m down.
I’m still gluten soy free and mainly dairy free except for the occasional tablespoon of yogurt and cheese on a gluten-free pizza. I also did make macaroni and cheese last week with gluten-free pasta and rice milk. It was a mix of taco cheese I believe that I used and it wasn’t the best but I have really missed my macaroni and cheese with tuna fish.
Our new dog keeps me pretty occupied when I’m at home. I can’t help but stop every half hour or so and hang out with her For a bit.
Whether it’s laying on the bed and petting her or taking her for a walk outside to chase the squirrels.
She loves to bury her nose in between my fore finger and thumb and it’s so adorable. Plus she gives kisses like crazy. And the way she contorts around when you give her a belly rub makes me giggle. She’s the sweetest little thing and we both adore her so much. we finally feel like a little family.
Still no idea if well ever have kids but I think that’ll be a little further down the line if we do.
Been having some stomach cramping lately but I also was forgetting to take my birth control pills so now I’m on my period a few days early. Although the cramping doesn’t feel like normal cramping feels more like the occasional stabbing your side. Maybe I over did something with all my overtraining these past two weeks.
Although I taught routine building last night yesterday was technically my day off of aerial. I went up and get a couple things and rigged the Lyra solo but Other than that I just did the warm-up with them and some abs.
My arms and right-hand have been feeling extremely sore but I know I also haven’t taken a day off Since the big show Saturday.
Performed Aerial burlesque for the first time this past weekend and it was a blast! We also did a little Ambient aerial silks performance before hand and I always enjoy a good freestyle or two!
My act went off okay but of course there’s always a couple hitches when you’re working with taking some clothes off. But the audience was super responsive and cheering the whole time. It made me feel so much better to hear them cheering as I worked my way through the new apparatus and my clothing removal. Most parts went off perfectly timed Even if I was a little behind.
I really think I have a special place in my heart for Aerial burlesque. And not just for watching and photographing others do it but for building routines myself. I came away having so many ideas that I wanted to put into play if I ever do it again. And then I was asked to do it in November so I better get started on putting something together For the next show!
I didn’t think I would be one to want to go travel and do festivals but who knows maybe once in a blue moon the weekend here there wouldn’t be so bad. I do like to travel I just don’t like the uncertainty of not knowing where I’m staying and not Knowing if I can pay the bills is the gig is not paying.
The newest thing in my life is that I had to finally get rid of my old car and get a new one. I used one but it’s a 2010 so it feels very new to me.
The payments per month are a lot more than I thought we could afford But life is always throwing new things are way so hopefully we will be able to pull this off.
I’ve been extremely busy and booking up for the rest of the year with photo shoots so I’m hoping it stays this way through winter. Although I was hoping for a break originally, now I know I don’t have time to take one.
I managed to get through all five seasons of breaking bad within a month and a half though. I was staying up till 4 AM watching three episodes in a row until I finally caught up and now I’m dying for the finale this coming week. That and my husband and I started watching a new show so I’m trying to make sure that I at least spend a certain amount of time relaxing each night versus sitting on the computer working until 4 AM. I know it’s just staring at a different screen but it makes me sit down and relax.
I start teaching Sunday classes in a couple weeks After my students at the other place have done their showcase. Very excited for both! But I’m a little nervous to be teaching an extra day of the week and I hope that my plan with my demo student will work out So that I don’t over train and injure myself even more often.
Overall I think things are pretty good. I lost a few pounds last couple weeks with being so busy building routines and teaching so much. But I also know I need more variety of my diet because I’m sick of the things I’m eating.
These past few days I’ve been extremely exhausted in the mornings but I know that also could just be due to my period.
I think I’m gonna take a short little nap here with my dog and then I’ll get up and start getting ready to do some syllabus building with my demo student, cleaning of the house, getting the dogs nails cut, editing some images and teaching my stretching class tonight.
Last Thursday me and my husband adopted our first dog together! She is a rescue and the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen or cuddled with. Everything I could have wanted in a pup! She’s 5, house trained, lovable, loyal, cute, lap size and energetic outside and chill at home. Perfect mix!
She’s a little shy and skiddish at first but the quickly goes away with a couple visits and careful movements at first.
She loves her belly rubbed and follows me everywhere I go. She’s a chihuahua and possibly Italian greyhound/whippet mix.
We had our first doggie play date with my friends puppy, W. He’s a little bigger than her so she was scared at first and carefully sniffing him until he’d start on her then she’d run and yelp.
But once we let them free in her yard, they were playing and racing so fast around and around. Taking turns with who jumps into action first. It was hilarious and adorable at once. They really liked each other and that just soothed my only possible worry that she wouldn’t take to any bigger active dogs. As long as he was playful and not mean, she loved it! He was very sweet with her.
My husband loves her too. He really came around and enjoys spending time with her. Makes me so happy to see that too.
Finally back at the gym today after a couple weeks off from being tired, busy and over-training for shows.
When I run on the treadmill it feels like my heart is getting stressed and tight again. I’m losing my cardio ability. I need to get it back. And soon. The good news, my shin splints aren’t killing me. And my quads/calves feel good when I run. No horrible back pain either.
Feeling better but still trying to shake the lazy bug.
I’ve been staying up til 4a most nights. Working on photos? No. Just watching Orange is the new black and Breaking Bad now. TV is addicting. Bottom line. I’m trying to think of this as a good thing though. Not staying on the computer all day/night or training hours every day can be better for my stress a d sanity. But at the same time it’s hard to make myself go upstairs to work or get out without being required to.
On a good note, we may be getting a dog sooner than expected. Hoping we are ready and that she will be a good fit for us so we can make our final decision this weekend. My husband hasn’t met her but he will Sunday. He’s really seemed to warm up to the idea now that’s its a for real option were looking at.
Over the weekend I made a gluten-free pizza on Friday and I made another one on Saturday and granted I haven’t had cheese in quite a few months I think it may have taken a toll on me. But then again on Sunday I baked some of my Allman coconut cookies and since hardly anybody ate them I ate mostly the whole batch myself within two days. Apparently I’m going through some sort of crazy craving For the things that I haven’t had in a while. And now come 4/5 o’clock every day I feel like I need a nap.
I am also on my period so it could have something to do with that but I think it’s just a bad combo because my stomach is also a wreck and I’m having issues again in the bathroom.
So what do I do I go grocery shopping and I buy a dark chocolate candy bar. An expired one at that. Hopefully I don’t have to deal with too many repercussions from having some soy lichen.
It’s almost time for our seven day Canada stint! I’m not sure if I’m excited about it yet because I currently am not feeling very energetic or strong.
I did however put up the pull-up bar as well as my pole in the living room yesterday. And my massage therapist says that my peck to bicep connectors are stronger than he’s ever seen on anyone.
I guess I’ll just wait it out until I’m not on my period anymore and see if things get better. Or maybe I should go to the doctor and get my thyroid checked again now that I’m feeling sluggish.
It’s so hard to get any work done because I don’t even want to sit at the computer I just want to lay on the couch and watch “orange is the new black”. This whole laying on the couch watching TV thing is just not me so I don’t feel like myself.